WEDNESDAY||FEBRUARY 23, 2THOUSAND5

OMG .. i cant take it .. i do something that was truely out of the kindness of my heart .. and what do i get for it? i get fricken trash talked .. i mean seriously .. if something akward happens  between two people, do you really expect things to get back to normal in a couple of days? no it takes time .. and you know what? im sorry if i am kind of busy .. you know im actually trying to keep up in school and get good grades. and for once, i am. i am doing better than both quarters last semester and its because i am actually taking school seriously. what do you want from me? would you rather me not concentrate on school and spend my time doing other things to "show" that what i said was true? i mean are my words not good enough? do you not believe me? you dont even know what i had to do this past week. i had to REDO my ENTIRE english research paper from the beginning because i changed my topic. do you know how long that took me? and this IS NOT an excuse. if you think it is, then whatever. im sorry if i dont talk to you every single day, but you know its not like i have an obligation to do it every single day. was that letter not good enough for you? do i have to "show it" 24/7? i mean if you dont think what i said was true, then i dont know what to say .. i mean im sorry if im not a good enough friend to you where i cant even meet your standards, but that letter was honestly true. i seriously dont know what to do .. WHAT DO YOU WANT ME TO DO? you tell me what to do to be a good enough friend to you and i'll do it.

TUESDAY||FEBRUARY 15||2THOUSAND5

HAPPY VALENTiNES DAY!!!

i hate people who spread rumors ..
twist words and change stories ..
tell secrets ..
are unfaithful ..
don't keep their word ..
are untruthful ..

true friends are the ones who dont lie ..
spread rumors ..
keep their word ..
tell the truth ..

i hear people at school have been saying certain things that shouldn't be said, or that AREN'T true ..

now i know who my TRUE friends are ..

you keep your word ..
you don't say things that souldn't be told ..
you don't spread rumors or start lies ..
so shouldn't u receive the same respect back?
too bad this isn't how the world works ..

life fricken sucks cause of these types of people ..

SUNDAY||FEBRUARY.06.05

But since you been gone
I can breathe for the first time
I'M SO MOVING ON, yeah yeah
Thanks to you
Now I get what I want
Since you been gone ..

well, camp was kind of a reality check for me. ever since then, ive been trying to make my life better. tryin to change my old ways and keep on going with my new way of life.

that old saying "it's not worth losing a friend over a guy" is so totally true. my whole love life has been a total roller coaster ride. if you would even call it a love life. many ups and downs. mostly downs. but now it's totally better. but heres the story ..
i was the best of friends with this girl. i liked this one guy, she liked another. the guy i liked started liking her and she said that she wouldn't go out with him, because she liked this other guy. but a couple days later, my heart was practically torn out and trampled on. u can probably guess what happened. our friendship wasn't as strong before and it kind of diminished. can't blame her though cause he was a totally awesome guy. but still, our friendship wasn't that great. so i stopped liking him because .. "it's not worth losing a friend over a guy".

time passes by ..

then, maybe a year or a year and a half later, i started to like him again. but then, my other friend liked him too. we know eachother like this guy and stuff. we are really good friends, but i felt that there is tension between us. plus, people are talking, which doesn't make things better. this guy is still a real kick ass guy and all, but still .. "it's not worth losing a friend over a guy". so i thought about it, prayed about it, and asked friends for advice and finally came to my own conclusion. if its mean to be, then it'll happen in its own time. if its not, then its good that i have moved on. and ever since then, i have felt so much better about things .. and life in general. and i have been actually a lot happier. plus, we're still totally awesome friends.

on a lighter note, drivers ed has been totally awesome. i actually started driving! first, around the block near hba, and then from kaimuki to ward! all on my own .. oh yeah. we had a trip to the medical examiners office, and we got to see/smell some disgusting things. we saw these dead babies from like 3 and 4 months old. one was all dried and shriviled, the other looked like a mini baby with fingers and all. we saw brains, hearts, etc. AND for the grand finale .. we saw dead bodies in the refrigerators .. that was kind of .. gross. all pale and stuff. PLUS .. we got to smell decomposing bodies .. that was soo terrible. but, drivers ed has been totally worth it. its so fricken fun to drive .. a little tip for everyone .. WATCH OUT cause im gonna be on the road!

as for school, it has been all right. grades are okay. gotta bring them up uP UP!

PeaCE!

.:*ang

Currently Playing Take It All Away By Ryan Cabrera see related

- TRUE!!! -

...you might think i don't look
but deep inside in the corner of my mind
im attatched to you, im weak, its true
cause im afraid to know the answer
do you want me too?
cause my heart keeps _falling faster...

well, here's another update. since steph told me to.

school has been going good so far. i'm shootin for a 4.0 instead of a 3.5. even tho i didn't even get a 3.5 last quarter, i think maybe if i shoot for a higher gpa, then maybe i'll get a higher grade. if i don't get a 3.5 this quarter, my moms gonna punish me big time.

PROM aka JUNIOR/SENIOR BANQUET is coming up. should i ask someone from outside of school? idk. i know i'm going cause i'm help planning the music and i'm going to be there the whole day decorating, so i might as well go. i wouldnt mind goin w/a certain someone, but i dont think it's gonna happen. im okay with it. can't help the inevitable. oh well. on a brighter note, date or no date, im going to try my best to have a good time. if i do have a date, i want to be able to have fun w/the person.

ATTENTION! JUNIORS AND SENIORS THAT WILL BE ATTENDING PROM: IF YOU HAVE ANY SONGS YOU WOULD LIKE PLAYED AT PROM, GIVE ME THE SONG NAME, ARTIST, AND LYRICS BY NEXT WEDNESDAY [01/19] AT THE LATEST. I HAVE TO SUBMIT THE SONGS BY NEXT WEDNESDAY FOR APPROVAL FROM THE ADMINISTRATION. THANKS.

well, that's all. wish me luck in finding a date ... im gonna need it.

my myspace:

http://www.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=user.viewProfile&friendID=2542690&Mytoken=20050112004159

.:*ang

12||24||04, thursday

SURF FEST
one word : AWESOME
the bands were pretty good. except the vandals. they sucked. i wanted to throw rocks at them and throw them off the stage. they played so long! what a waste of time. but YELLOWCARD was so freaking awesome. it was super fun in the moshing/sweating/pushing crowd. was w/keisha and reese. we worked our way to the front and i even got to the railing. i got a pick from the yellowcard guitarists! that was so awesome. had to leave early so i had to get one of the security gurads to lift me over the railing but that was fun too. i'm bummed i missed New Found Glory, but i got a poster signed by them thanks to JADE. what an awesome girl. oh and thanks to her friend Travis who came up with a brilliant plan. overall, it was awesome hangin out w/Jess, Keisha, Micah, Bobby, Bain, Derrick, Brent, Colin, Reese, Kerry, and other seniors at Surf Fest.

WINTER BANQUET
first year i went stag. it was fun tho. not having to worry about getting a lei and taking pictures. this year was super fun. jus chilled w/ my 2 "dates" kris and tracey. there was choke traffic so i got there about an hour late. did my make up in the car. and then bought a camera and met up w/ kris in the lobby. we went up and people had already started eating. but its okay. tracey came and we ate. there was a lot of picture taking w/frens. still gotta develop the film. then dancing started. that was super fun. then took pix with my frens. the only downside of the dancing was not havin someone to dance with to the slow songs. but thats okay. rhi made up for that haha. afterwards, went on a trolleyride. that was fun. but got worried cause i thot i was going to be homeless for the night. but thanks to Angie, she saved my butt and gave me a place to stay. went to a karaoke place, but then decided to go Zanzabar, but then jus went to zippys and then angies house. day after, went kahala, homecoming pepper squad meeting at school, then boys Soccer game. good job guys.

Highlight of my break so far: YELLOWCARD CONCERT

that's all folks! MERRY CHRISTMAS!!! don't forget what the holiday is for! *muah* xOxO

.:*ang